Mommy Chronicles: How to Say Goodbye

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This month was filled with loss that really hurt. On February 2nd, Kahlil and I said goodbye to our beloved 12-year old Tuxedo cat. Then, on February 22nd, I lost my Aunt Sonia, who was my mom’s eldest sister.  

5 Stages of Grief

Losing loved ones is hard. As I am one who wears my heart on my sleeve, you instantly know if I am happy, sad, or somewhere in between. As a mother, I am not only dealing with my own grief and sadness. Now I am navigating how to teach my son how to deal with loss. 

KJ is turning 8 months old this month. Honestly, I am wondering whether he will really remember this time of loss. Will he remember how much Toby cared for him? How will he know just how influential and loving my Aunt Sonia was? 

It's Up to Me

It’s up to me to share the stories and fond memories I have with loved ones no longer here. If KJ ever doubts himself or feels nervous, I can remind him to be fearless like Toby. That cat was GANGSTA and feared nothing. Toby could have been dropped in front of a pack of lions and he wouldn’t care at all. I will never forget his unapologetic fearless nature! 

If KJ ever wonders how much of an impact he will have on this world, I will remind him of my Aunt Sonia. She was a woman who impacted many people inside and outside of my family. She was a force of nature that no one could ever say no to. I will remind him that he has powerful Jamaican roots that will see him through any challenge or obstacle he may face. My aunt did so much in her life and her life was a living testimony of strength, power, and faith. 

If KJ grows up to love baking like his father. I will remind him of my Aunt Barbara, who died last year. She was the infamous family baker on mom’s side of the family. And, I will share the fond memories of her baking delicious carrot and black cake for annual family gatherings. 

Albert Einstein taught us that “energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another.” When you think about death and losing a loved one, they really aren’t gone. They just aren’t in this human form anymore. Really, they are very much alive in our hearts and minds. As the holder of those fond memories, it is our duty to teach our children just how meaningful and impactful they were before they transitioned.

How do you honor loved ones no longer here?

Share your advice and words of wisdom in the comments!

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